How do I talk about the bushfires?
This bushfire season has been catastrophic.
The level of destruction, lives lost, wildlife killed, properties and businesses destroyed, has been worse than ever witnessed before. It is difficult to fathom, comprehend or understand and now, as people try to recover, it is so challenging for the best of us to know how to help and support.
Everyone is talking about it. At the shops, the doctors, dentist, local pool, coffee shop or the park. We talk of the destruction, the tragedy, who is responsible, why it happened, stories of loss and tales of survival and close calls.
On top of this, we live in an age where everything is recorded on devices that we all have. The images and videos are shared on tv and social media. Nothing is left to the imagination. The images of blackened animals, burning koalas, sobbing adults and emotion so raw it brings everyone to tears.
Our children are all witness to this. They are not immune to the trauma of these times. They are experiencing these extreme emotions, even if vicariously from their parents or other family members. So how do we help our children through this emotional minefield relatively unscathed? It’s challenging, but it’s necessary, as if we say nothing or pretend they haven’t heard it, can be foolhardy. Children can be scarred by such images and trauma if not dealt with appropriately.
So, what do we do as parents, teachers and those working with, or around children, to support them navigate through this emotional time?
I have a few tips.
Firstly, talk to them about what has happened and is happening. Speak to them in a language that is right for them. Don’t sugar coat it, be honest but don’t catastrophise the situation.
Sit with them as they watch the stories and images on tv and social media. Speak to them about what they are seeing, how they feel about it, answer their questions and talk them through it.
Speak to them in a confident and positive manner that leaves them with the impression that all will be ok. Don’t trivialise it however but let them know that it is sad, but it will be ok.
They need to know that they are safe and in no danger, that they will be cared for and looked after. It is vital that they feel comfortable, safe and at ease.
Give them time to think about what you have told them and allow them to ask questions to clarify their understanding. If you don’t know the answers, work with them to find the answers. Give them control of their own curiosity.
Make sure you let them know that the loss and sadness is not permanent and that things will improve, and people will recover as will the animals. It is important that they realise that things won’t always be like this and that life will return to normal.
Give them opportunities to do something to help the situation, without forcing. Be led by them. If they want to send cards, raise money or physically help in some way, support them and provide them with the chance to do so.
Adults have such an important role to play in supporting their children through such a catastrophic situation, as kids are very quick to pick up if you are not telling them the truth, you are hiding something or have emotions that you are trying to hide. These are the things that will lead to unmanaged trauma that can lead to challenges for them later.
Please be open with your children/students. Give them time to ask questions and work with them to manage their own emotions, whilst you are managing your own.
If I can help, please message me and we can chat about positive ways to manage their trauma.
In the meantime, please download this tip sheet that summarises the information above.
