What's my positive:negative ratio?
I have had a number of clients come to me wanting more positive moments in their days. Fair call!
Positivity is way more productive and makes us feel so damn good! However, negativity is not always a bad thing. We are allowed to feel sad, upset, anxious or frustrated. The trick is to make sure that the positive:negative ratio is weighted toward positivity. Some say (& it’s still controversial!) that it is best to have a 3:1 ratio for us to live at our best. Well that’s great, but how do we manage that ratio? How do I get that ratio right?
Well, here are a few tips I have put together for a number of clients recently. Hope they help!
Subjective wellbeing
Subjective wellbeing is about being happy in the moment. If you are keen to know what your subjective wellbeing is, it is as easy as a self-report questionnaire. You can take the questionnaire by downloading it here:
Importance of being mindful
Stop and notice what you notice, this helps to open up the brain, be more creative, more readily able to strategise and to see more opportunities.
Try this quick trick: STOP
Smile;
Touch something - notice how it feels;
Observe – look out the window, look at the shadow, not that which is casting the shadow, focus on the patterns on your desk, book, chair;
Pause – listen for distant noises, can you hear the traffic, wind in the trees, or birds?
It takes 60 seconds, but it will move you towards the positive. Try it!
Understanding our emotions
Emotions are linked to our body and our brain. By changing either of them, we can change or influence our emotions.
Our brain is wired for negativity to keep us safe! When the bear enters our cave, we assume they are going to eat us! That’s our amygdala kicking into action. We react quickly to avoid being killed! Imagine if our brain didn’t do that? Bear enters, “oh isn’t he cute, might try to pat him first” Disaster! So we need the negativity bias, but it is the management of our amygdala that matters.
The brain consists of frontal cortex (the logical, intelligent brain – decision making, strategising, rationalising), limbic system (the instinctual, emotional centre of the brain also responsible for habits, noticing and automation). If these are not talking to each other, the amygdala kicks in and highjack happens. Adrenaline is a fuel, so getting excited or ‘pumped up’ works to feed our brain. Dopamine is a fuel and we can only get this through eating, sleeping, exercise or having sex. Being negative drains us of dopamine.
Active interventions
In order to keep us fuelled up, we need to be proactive about being positive. To actively seek ways to be positive. The best way is to use interventions.
Set reminders on your phone to record your moods. Use Mood Meter App if you like. There are other Apps. If your mood is negative, adopt an intervention. It doesn’t matter what type of intervention, just adopt one!
SOME INTERVENTIONS YOU CAN ADOPT:
Go for a walk
STOP
Get a cup of tea
Ring a (positive) friend
Write in a Gratitude journal
Photographs (look at your favourite photographs that make you smile)
Music
Give to someone/random act of kindness
Read a happy book
Watch a funny video
Pat your dog
Remember a great holiday, event, person
SOME POSSIBLE INTERVENTIONS APPS INCLUDE:
One of my favourite things to do is to look at positive affirmations, read part of a Brene Brown book, or watch a Simon Sinek talk, but what gives me such a high more than anything, is to give to someone. I have little cards I give out to those I work with. These give ME more joy than it gives them! I love seeing their faces and I am so grateful for that opportunity.
Get our Tip sheet!
Download the tip sheet for your plan to improve your positive:negative ratio and watch your subjective wellbeing go through the roof!
